When I took a break from blogging two years ago I decided to use any available writing time to get the book together. Yesterday I finished the edit to a point that the project is ready to hand off to a professional editor, so here I am, as promised, back at the blog. It seems like a good time to jump back on the bike, while the wheels are still spinning. Otherwise those wheels might get rusty, and harder to pedal.
I am in my happy place, back at the Minnesota lake cabin, where thoughts FLOW and creativity comes easy. Tomorrow we head back to the big city and all of the routines that demand attention and energy. Added to that will be seeking help with publishing the book so all that work isn’t in vain. In truth, it could never be that, even if nobody reads it, although I certainly hope they (you) do. The process was amazing; it gave me permission to explore and consider my own internal processes in a way that might have been considered self-indulgent if it hadn’t been intended as something to benefit others. At least that’s what my old self would have thought.
Taking on the book has established a new way of thinking, but only gradually. Perhaps turning 50 before I got serious about it has something to do with my change of attitude, but even then I continued to doubt my efforts. After all, who would want to hear anything I have to say? (That was the doubting parts asking) The answer is, I don’t know, and if I don’t put it out there, I never will. So instead of folding to the possibility of failure, I choose to try.
That’s the amazing part, just by trying I have found myself opening up to the gifts within and around me. I have released my doubts (mostly) and decided to go for it; to let it FLOW. I have had the amazing experience of surviving cancer and all its nasty treatment effects. I still fight to keep the after effect from taking over, but that’s part of the learning curve. I talk to people everyday who are working on making their life better, despite whatever life has thrown in their way. Inevitably, it’s those curve balls that make the whole thing move interesting and shake them out of their complacency. Maybe not right away but eventually. That’s why I called the book Unkind Gifts. There is something to be gained from all that pain. There are presents found in presence. We just need to Open it up and see what’s inside.